Fyreside Newsletter - 2/23/26

Hey Reader,

Today I learned that "Big Man Syndrome" is a political science term. That's wild and not what this newsletter is about. I know the phrase from a completely different arena: basketball. That will be the "Big Man Syndrome" I relate to marketing today, so if you're familiar with the poli-sci term, forget about it for the next 5 minutes.

This newsletter is about one of the first life lessons I learned from a hobby. I started playing basketball around the fourth grade and I played in some sort of organized league until I graduated from high school. Let me be so clear, I was never good at basketball. I had one year where I got pretty consistent from the free-throw line, but that was my peak. I also led the league in foul-outs, aNd HeRe'S wHaT iT tAuGhT mE aBoUt MaRkEtInG.

Why I played basketball

I am large and have been since birth. When you're a large boy in a rural town, you're expected to participate in a sport. The expectation in my town was you either played basketball or football. My parents never let me play football, (something I'm grateful for everyday I wake up without CTE) so I played basketball.

I'd like to reiterate that I was never good at basketball. I tried hard and I was in decent shape, but I bricked two out of every three layup attempts. Lucky for me, I didn't have to be good at basketball because I was big. I don't remember my measurements from 20+ years ago, but safe to assume I was a foot taller and 75lbs heavier than every other kid my age. I hit my growth spurt early and if I wasn't going to be a linemen, the coaches were determined to get me in the paint.

"But he ran into me!"

Let me show you what it's like to be a foot taller and 75lbs heavier than every other kid your age:

Jokes aside, you pretty much just knock shit over all the time. You spend every moment existing in a space you don't fit in. Also, your friends parents will look at you like you're Godzilla, about to devour their little baby. It will also make you the favorite student of every gym teacher in the district. But when it came to basketball, being in the 98th percentile of kids on the court taught me a lesson: it's always the biggest guys fault.

See, I could knock a kid over just by looking at them wrong. If I set a stable pick, defenders were forced to perform their best Princess Diana impression. (sorry) Simply by standing in place and waving my arms, I became a deterrent that was just short of lethal. It got me called for A LOT of fouls, most of which were objectively not my fault. Typically it was an illegal block or a push, but often I felt like I was just playing the game. Why was I getting blamed for someone smaller smacking into me?

"Because you're the biggest one out there."

I remember my dad explaining the concept of "Big Man Syndrome" (not the poli-sci one) to me. After some game in my early years of playing, I was complaining after a game about the fouls called. My dad explained to me that, because I was the biggest guy out there, I was always going to be the first to blame. Maybe it was because I was the easiest to see, maybe it was because I was always the one left standing, maybe it was because I was never the one who got injured. The specific "why" doesn't matter. If a small kid runs into a big kid and falls down, the big kid gets the foul even if the small kid led with the elbow. Being the biggest kid out there came with tons of advantages, but this was an explicit drawback.

I learned to adjust my behavior around my affliction of bigness. It didn't make me any better at basketball, but I did foul a lot less. I also took that lesson with me off the court. I internalized the perception that comes with being big, for better and for worse. As I've grown, (and my peers have caught up with me) I suffer from BMS less often, but I still see it everyday.

Here's the point

This weekend, a local business was featured on an Instagram meme account. I'll post a link below, but there's a lot going on and it's hard to follow. To summarize:

The meme account featured the business in jest
Commenters laughed along with the meme account and continued to poke fun at the business
One commenter who was familiar with the business left a long comment with more complaints about the business than were featured in the initial post
A few commenters who represented the business jumped in to defend the business and shame other commenters
This defense was not well received and things continued to spiral
The post is now the MOST LIKED AND MOST COMMENTED on post on the meme account and they've made a second post about the same business

Here's the thing: the small business is the Big Man. Look, I get it. Seeing the internet tear down something you care about sucks, but it's the internet, they tear down everything. No matter how small the business or how large the meme account, the perception will always be that the business is the Bigger Man than the individual commenters or silly social profiles. It doesn't make it ok for commenters to dunk on a small business, but it's going to happen and businesses have a great deal to lose or gain based on their response.

Another relevant lesson I learned from sport is that it's always "the second person who gets called." Basically, the first foul will go unnoticed, but the retaliation will get called every time.

Here's the lesson, anytime your business or organization is discussing a response to anything, consider if you're the Bigger Man, then plan accordingly.

-MC

p.s.

Here's the link to the referenced Instagram post.
I cruised past 400 followers on TikTok last week! Drop me a follow if you haven't already.
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