Fyreside Newsletter - 7/14/25

Hey Reader,

This newsletter isn't about you. Well, it might be, but I'm not writing it about you.

I'm writing this newsletter for the worst people on social media. Maybe that is you, but how can you tell? To answer that question, I'd like to invite you along for another...

👏LONG👏DRAWN-OUT👏METAPHOR.

Think of your last group gathering...

I'm not picky on the details, but it's got to be a group gathering, like 5+ people. Maybe a birthday party, maybe an office get together, again, I'm not picky on the details.

Now, in all group gatherings, there are some constants. There is always:

The friendly one who's excited to meet new people.
The odd couple who just met and discovered they share a similar passion.
The quiet one who's just happy to be included.

And then, there's that guy.

("Guy" being gender-neutral)

At every party, in every gathering, there is always that guy. The one who always has to be the coolest one in the room. The one who always has a story for every situation, truthful or otherwise. The one who has always done everything that everyone else has ever done, except that guy did it better. Put simply, that guy is the one who never shuts the fuck up.

You know that guy. Chances are, you're thinking about a particular person right now. Maybe his name is Bob, idk. What matters is that you know this experience and, I'd venture to guess, you don't like it. Because nobody likes it! That guy sucks!

Is your brand that guy?

Despite our shared disdain for that guy, an alarming number of young brands and want-to-be influencers operate their social media exactly like him. Let's go back to the other group constants and connect them to a behavior on social media:

The friendly one = The social account that's following other relevant accounts and growing their network.
The odd couple = The social account that's commenting on other content, relating with things they find interesting.
The quiet one = The social account that mostly lurks, but isn't concerned about expanding.

If those are the other constants, what does that guy do? Well, as stated above, that guy never shuts up. That guy...

Posts constantly.
Only engages when they can glorify themselves.
Doesn't follow other accounts because they assume other people will come to them.

I'll leave you with a general rule of thumb I learned in college, if you're at a party and you can't identify that guy, it's probably you.

-MC

p.s.

Next week, I'm going to say mean things about AI. Tell your friends.
If someone forwarded you this email and you liked it, subscribe to this newsletter! Or don't, I'm not your dad.