Fyreside Newsletter - 12/15/25

Hey Reader,

Well, we made it. We've reached the end of another global rotation and, with that, the last Fyreside Newsletter of the year. Just a friendly reminder that you can catch up on old issues of Fyreside here if you're itching for the marketing advice of yore.

After taking a much needed week off, I was grappling what to write about today. Plan A was a diatribe about propaganda and its devastating effect on those who, due to age, health and/or environment, are consuming it Clockwork Orange style via cable news networks. But that felt heavy for the last week of the year. So instead, let's talk about Honda Days!

Kleenex, Band-aid and Toyotathon

If you spent anytime this holiday season around a person under the age of 35, you probably heard one of the following:

Happy Honda Days!
Have a Lexus December to Remember!
Merry Chrysler!
Some fourth joke about Toyotathon

Three of these four are actual ad slogans. The first Lexus December to Remember was in 1999 and the first Happy Honda Days was sometime in the early 2000s. Predating both of those, Toyotathon actually goes all the way back to the late 70s! (<- This is the wildest fact I've ever learned for this newsletter.) "Merry Chrysler" was never actually used as a slogan, but instead comes from a silly Vine posted circa 2015.

Despite their origin stories, chances are the cousin shouting one of these catchphrases at you from across the living room isn't trying to get you to buy a car. These branded taglines have become little more than vocal stims and in-jokes for young people. They're just seasons greetings, the same way that any nose-focused piece of tissue paper is a Kleenex and any adhesive bandage is a Band-aid. They're part of the vernacular.

Branding should be lovable!

The mark of a good song is when everyone wants to sing the chorus. The mark of good branding is when the populous turns your seasonal marketing scheme into a beloved holiday greeting. That should be the real goal of outward communication: to become part of the lexicon. The impact of marketing is so strictly graded on ROI that it's easy to forget the importance of brand awareness. "Happy Honda Days" doesn't have a call to action baked in, it just is.

My other favorite, non-holiday, non-car-related tagline-turned-vocal-stim comes from the USPS. At least once a day, I respond to an unexpected solution with, "Well, if it fits, it ships." AND if you catch me on a good day, I might even throw in an, "International, both ways!" I'm not sure I've actually seen an ad for Priority Flat Rate boxes since 2006, but that tag is still cemented in my head.

So what?

Well, as we slide uncontrollably into a new year, it seems that capitalism is determined to suck all that's good out of this world. There's this stat that I don't think get's talked about enough called the American Customer Satisfaction Index. The name is pretty self-explanatory, but it's basically a measurement of consumer happiness. Here's a link to their most recent report from Q3 of 2025. But I'll save you a link and just put the headline below.

A Threat Potentially More Damaging Than the Great Recession: The Decoupling of Seller Profits from Buyer Utility

Bleak, right? Looking at those words in that order sure doesn't make for a Happy Honda Day. Something that I discuss with my therapist often is that, despite the amount that I care about improving the economy, I am merely an individual. We, all of us, have alarmingly little effect on things like customer satisfaction. Why? Well because you can't just be more satisfied with something that doesn't satiate you. Contrary to what companies like Netflix, Spotify and HP think, charging more for less won't suddenly make people happier. If it did, the American divorce rate would be less than 50%.

But joy and satisfaction are different.

Think of the fanciest, most expensive meal you've ever had. Chances are you're thinking of an exceptionally pricy, exceptionally small portion. When you ate it, it probably brought you joy, but it probably didn't satisfy you. (Or maybe it did, idk, just follow me here.)

Even though it wasn't the most filling or satisfying meal you've ever eaten, it was probably still one of the best! You were probably really happy to experience it! And hopefully, if only for a moment, you were joyful with your lack of satisfaction. Meals like that aren't offered everywhere. They don't follow the mold or the trend. They don't check all the boxes that can be checked by BJ's Brewhouse. They're unique, individual, bold, and, most importantly, they matter to people.

Saying "Happy Honda Days" sparks joy. You could never isolate or measure the ROI on the slogan. But, when the dawn finally breaks and the day finally comes that we get to line up the Brands against a brick wall and show them just how satisfied we really are, Honda probably won't be first in line.

-MC

p.s.

What's the best thing you were gifted during this non-denominational holiday period??
If someone forwarded you this email and you liked it, subscribe to this newsletter!