Fyreside Newsletter - 12/15/25

Hey Reader,

First, a brief programming note: I'm taking next week off! Between travel and holiday prep, I don't plan on spending much time at my desk next week. You'll get one more newsletter from me this year on the 29th. Sorry if that ruins your holidays. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Please don't make me hurt your feelings.

I don't like to be mean to people. I learned at a young age that the way I perceive social situations makes it easy for me to be mean accidentally. I also learned at a young age that I don't like the way it feels when I've hurt someone's feelings. Now 30 or so years have given me the opportunity to hone my social skills and study communication tactics, so it's rare these days that I'm hurtful unintentionally.

Something else I picked up at a young age is just how impactful bullying can be. I hit puberty early, I was larger than my classmates, I had a hard time with social situations, long story short, I was an easy target. Not that I'm particularly grateful to have been bullied, but it did teach me a lot. I learned about who I was, how to identify valuable relationships, how to build myself up, and, most importantly, when it was important to recuse myself from a situation.

Again, this is not a newsletter in defense of bullying, but it did teach me that not all my ideas are as great as I think they are and that sometimes, people don't want to hear your ideas even if they are great.

Because I will hurt your feelings.

So how did I learn that I don't like to be mean to people? Well, I wasn't always the one being bullied. When you struggle to understand social situations with peers and have recently learned how effective a strategy bullying can be, it's easy to become a bully. I said my fair share of incredibly mean things growing up, and I'm not proud of that, but I am proud of what it taught me: with great power comes great responsibility.

Like Aunt May and the Uncles Ben said: understanding the power of bullying comes with the responsibility of not needlessly or accidentally bullying someone. Because, as effective a tactic as it is, it doesn't feel good.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where some people need to be bullied, even if it doesn't feel good to do so. These days, I like to stick to witty quips and articles like this, but I still try my best not to needlessly hurt someone's feelings.

And I will not lower my standards.

That brings me to the subject of this email: a friend I spent the last week "working with."

I recently reconnected with an acquaintance from college. He's done well for himself as an independent entrepreneur and we met at a networking event. He offered to sit down with me and lend a hand with Bahnfyre, so we met for lunch a few times. Both lunch dates were very pleasant, so when he offered to lead me through his 5-day business course, I accepted. I felt like, after a number of conversations, we were very aligned. He listened well and I felt that he understood my struggles in a way that most don't. I was excited.

Days 1 and 2 went great. So great, in fact, that I told my therapist about how excited I was for Day 3. Then, on Day 3, we "leveraged the power of ChatGPT." I was exceptionally disappointed not only by the rugpull, but by the fact that everything we produced on Day 3 was absolute dog shit. Just the most useless, bottom of the barrel trash I've ever seen in my life. If you've kept up with this newsletter for more than a month, you know that I hold myself and Bahnfypre PR to a particular standard. That is a standard I will not lower and to in bottom-barrel-dookie, even if there is a successful business coach telling me it will be profitable.

On Day 4 of 5, he asked me to sign up for a $97/mo digital service via his affiliate link. When I told him I wasn't interested, he said we didn't need to finish Day 4 and could also cancel Day 5. He also did not send over any of the work we did in the first 3 days. I haven't heard from him since.

But I said thank you.

I let him know that I appreciated the experience and his time. He didn't charge me for the service, so I wasn't out more than a few hours of time. And, to be frank, I did appreciate the first two days, it was the back half that made me want to dig my eyes out with spoons. I lied to my "friend" because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I didn't need to tell him that he had forgotten to include zoom links in the calendar invite. I didn't need to tell him that he had forgotten to mute his mic when he was talking to his wife. I didn't need to tell him that his landing page was full of spelling errors. I didn't need to tell him that his podcast gets less than a 10th of the downloads that mine does and that it can't be searched on most podcast apps because his SEO is bad and it has the same name as a half-dozen other podcasts.

In the third paragraph of this newsletter, I said bullying taught me how to identify valuable relationships. I was able to learn the difference between those who bullied you out of malice and those who hurt your feelings out of love, in hopes of helping you. A real friend will hurt your feelings when you're peddling dog-shit in the town square, but they don't have to and it probably won't feel great for them if they do.

We all have the power to hold ourselves, our businesses and our products to a higher standard, and with great power, there must also come great responsibility.