Fyreside Newsletter - 8/18/25

Hey Reader,

First thing’s first, it’s time this newsletter embraces its core foundation. I’ve built this list on one thing and one thing alone: pictures of my cat. It dawned on me this weekend that I haven’t been putting enough cat pictures in this newsletter. So, starting this week, and every week for the rest of forever, I’ll be adding a hot, fresh picture of my cat. You’re welcome.

I got a haircut this week.

Haircuts give me anxiety. That anxiety stems from a traumatic childhood moment in JCPenney, but that’s a story for a different newsletter. I received this week’s haircut from a barber I hadn’t met before at a shop I’ve gone to for years. Due to a mixture of my own anxiety and the awkward experience that is stranger touching your head, this haircut included the basic, “get to know you” small talk

And that’s when he asked me, “What do you do for work?”

"Social Media Marketing" I tells him!

I actually gave him a lot more info than that, but SMM was the piece that stuck. Then, this new acquaintance who was actively holding a knife to my throat hit me with an atypical response: “I just don’t really feel like social media marketing is worth it. Like I just see the same trashy ads everywhere.”

I took the time to explain that “trashy ads” aren’t really what I do and that I actually focus more on organic marketing. Then the conversation shifted and the rest of the haircut was fine.

OKAY HERE'S THE THING THOUGH

The social media presence of this barbershop is dogshit. I mean just absolutely abysmal. They would probably really benefit from hiring me to fix it, but if the opinion of the staff is “I just don’t really feel like social media marketing is worth it,” that option is probably off the table.

So instead I’ve decided to give my barbershop a free (albeit unrequested) social media audit right here in this newsletter! If you’ve ever been curious about the value of one of my social audits, here’s a proof of concept.

Fun fact: If you hire me for a social audit, I’ll go through ALL of your digital footprint and present my findings in a comprehensive report with actionable steps to improve. I’ll also be way nicer to you than I’m about to be to my barbershop.

Public Execution.

Let’s start with a screenshot

screenshot of @psychobillybarbershop instagram page

And now, a bulleted list

Terrible profile image. Absolutely no identifying information. It’s a cool logo, but could you even tell the devil is riding a barber poll?
If you’re going to use a kitschy font on your social profile, better make sure it’s legible.
“APPOINTMENT ONLY!” Cool, great, no problem, that’s fine. But…uh… WHERE TF AM I SUPPOSED TO BOOK AN APPOINTMENT?? You can literally put your url in your bio for free on Instagram. If you don’t want to do that, at least put a phone number.
Address formatting is sloppy. I know the US is 15th in the UN Human Development Report Education Index, but we capitalize both letters in state abbreviations.
There are no pinned posts and that’s bad. Your pinned posts are your billboard. That’s where you put the information that you want people to see every time they visit your profile. Here’s a non-exhaustive list of things this barbershop could put in their pinned posts
- Shop hours
- Staff introductions
- Pricing menu
- Parking map
- Shop tour
- Portfolios
- Events
- GAHT DANG BOOKING INSTRUCTIONS
The middle post is cropped weird because the graphic is the wrong size for socials.
The third post is washed out and looks strange because WHO TF PUTS HORIZONTAL VIDEOS ON INSTAGRAM?
One final thing that you can’t see from this screenshot: the most recent post is over 5 months old. Haircuts are one of the most visual services you can offer, wtf is stopping you from putting a picture on Instagram twice a week?

In Conclusion

That’s the kind of help I can give you with just a screenshot of your Instagram profile. When I do a full social audit, I review every social profile you have, your google presence, your blog, your website, and literally any other trace of your business or organization on the internet. Imagine getting this kind of feedback on your entire digital footprint. Imagine all of the missteps and opportunities that you can’t see. Imagine what addressing those things would do for your conversion rate.

And again, I’ll be way less of a dick about it if you don’t lead with “I just don’t think social media marketing is worth it.”

-MC

p.s.

Got the itch for a social audit? Book one HERE. Use code "FYRESIDE" and I'll give you 25% off!
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